It is difficult when you lose a family member, friend, lover or even a family pet. The loss appears endless and your emotions are exploding. It is not possible to bring them back, but it is possible to understand your feelings.
It is vital to get support from people that you trust. Family and friends are the first line of support as they understand what you are facing and will always want to help. You however control how they help you. You may decide to reflect on your loss, discuss your feelings, or just go out to take your mind off matters. It is important to do whatever makes you happy.
It is also important to visit your family doctor and discuss any sleeping problems and emotions that you feel that you cannot cope with – your family doctor will be able to prescribe sleeping medication or refer you to a professional counsellor who will help you cope with the loss.
The grieving process should never be hurried. It can take a couple of months, or in most cases it can take one to two years to fully recover from a major loss. It is normal to feel very emotional during birthdays, anniversaries and the holiday season.
Suicide can be very difficult to deal with. People generally feel shocked, angry and hurt by the person that has committed suicide. They also feel guilty and become troubled by the thought that they could have done something to prevent it. These emotions are normal and are part of the grieving process.
It is important to support a friend during this phase. It is important to never feel afraid to talk to them. Expressing your support and condolences are an important part in helping them to deal with the loss. Never avoid them unless they ask for some private time to deal with the loss – this is the most important time for friends to stand up and be counted.
Children also grieve, similarly to adults. Adults normally tend not to notice this process as it is normally demonstrated in patterns that we do not understand. Children need to be surrounded with positive warm feelings and understanding. This can sometimes be very difficult for an adult as they are also grieving. During this time, children can learn about love and relationships.
The first step is to create an atmosphere in which the child’s emotions and fears are recognised. They should also be allowed to take part in any ceremonies and gatherings which are comfortable for them. It is important to explain to them what is happening and why, in a manner that is understandable to them. Some children may not be able to speak at a grandparents funeral, but by allowing them to place a drawing at the casket will allow them to communicate and say their goodbyes.
It must also be noted that children have very short attention spans and will tend to want to leave a gathering early. It is advised to have a non-family member to attend to the children in this event.
The most important aspect is not to force participation, but to allow participation. Children know how much involvement they want and should be carefully listened to.
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